The Indian Profit League

(written at the helm of IPL, posted now!!!)

Its here, its rocking and it’s raining sixes too! The Indian Premier League hailed as the next big thing in International Cricket after the Kerry Packer World Series Cricket in Australia in 1977-79 which revolutionized the way One Day cricket was played around the world, is a hit with the masses. In India where cricket is a religion, the cricketers’ demi gods and no dearth of fanatic followers, evening after evening of high drama and excitement seems to have got everybody praying for the Gods of cricket!

I being an avid follower (read fanatic) of cricket but with all the screaming and shouting limited to my drawing room, got an opportunity to visit the temple of our Gods-the cricket ground. So here I was at one of the venues of an IPL match at Mohali.

It was a clear sky, not an inch of cloud (much to my dismay) blocking the relentless sun overhead. The snake queues had started building up. Everyone was abuzz with activity. The Policemen, the ice cream walas, the chat walas, the media persons, everyone seemed to be gearing up for the big event. Though my ticket said “entry at 1 pm” the queue was already as long as Bret Lee’s run up an hour later, with no sign of Gate 12 opening. A childish enquiry later I found out that the gates were supposed to open at 3 o’clock, exactly an hour before the match was to begin. Thanks to the heat, it was as if u were in an oven and the baker asked you to be there a little longer for you hadn’t baked well enough to be served! A century of sweat and parched throats later, the gates of Heaven finally opened. If you are wondering about the time? Well you don’t ask St. Peter, “What time is it?” if you are already half roasted in the fires of Hell, right? Much to my expectation St. Peter did appear to welcome us at the gates! Clad in a khaki vardi, he asked me to leave any water bottles ,sheets of paper –the only one in my hand said “4” on one side and “6” on the other, a perfectly legal document with an avid cricket fan!- outside before I entered. I obeyed and was thus blessed with Heaven!

Never having entered a cricket ground before I was living a fairy tale. I was brimming with excitement but with a tinge of apprehension. As I entered the stands, the sight of the lush green field caught my eye. Players crisscrossed the field in their colourful jerseys, some practicing their bowling and batting, while others contemplating strategies for the match. But the fairy tale was short lived. The crowd had just started to trickle in but the stands had fair amount of empty chairs owing to the soaring temperature! The sun was glaring with all its might and a look around the ground was enough to realize that there was no shade in sight. It was pretty clear by now that the crowd was expected to sit in the abundant sunshine by the authorities who had made no prior arrangements for the people watching the match. Amongst a feeling of disgust a voice caught my attention shouting “water” “thanda pani”! I turned around and saw a bearded man who would easily pass off as a drunkard from a 70’s bollywood movie. An old oil tin box hung by his neck carrying water bottles. An ID card which said “Essential Services“hung by this neck with a photograph reminiscent of his hay days. I took a water bottle and as I was about to hand him the 12 rupees, he gave me a look which reminded me of my 3rd grade teacher. With an outstretched hand and a calmly remarked “tees rupai ka hai”. Water is the cradle of life but the IPL officials probably weren’t taught this in school .The bottles were priced at 25 or 30 rupees depending on whether you had sufficient change. You couldn’t do anything but feel helpless at that. Throw out the water bottles and eatables before you enter so that you are forced to buy water and eatables at such outrageous prices seemed to be the plot. This was not limited to water but soft drinks, beer, chips, burgers anything and everything one wanted to eat one had to pay through his nose. I saw a lot of people objecting to the prices but most finally gave in for it was near impossible for anyone to survive the merciless heat. I was inevitably reminded of the “Common Man” by Laxman. - The silent spectator to ills of the Indian polity for decades. It wasn’t the politicians this time but the Indian Profit League. And this is how they make money! After much deliberation I decided to keep to the water bottles and refrain from buying anything else in silent protest to this injustice. The facilities at the grounds were no exception, one visit to the toilet no: 9 near our stand was the last nail in the coffin. The facility was in a deplorable condition .It was enough to tell me it’s all a sham. Sheer show of hypocrisy surrounds us all. The BCCI, the players, the bollywood stars, the hype, the moolah everything a hoax! I was a cricket fanatic when I entered the ground but 4 hours later I was a disillusioned Indian citizen. What I fail to understand is this, why does the BCCI overcharge people who come to see these matches? With an income of 4.43 crore a day why can’t the BCCI ensure 50 neat and clean toilets for cricket grounds in the country? They say the IPL’s success lies in attracting people from all walks of life to the grounds, but is it not supposed to be a pleasant experience for them who come to watch their Gods in action?

The answers elude me.